What would happen????????????????????????…

i really love cheese and i was wondering what would happen if i married it because i really love it would it be legal because i llike melted cheese but i dont want to be racist to the other cheeses so i want to make a huge ball of all kinds of cheese like swiss and cheddar and mozzerella and parmesan and then melt it and marry it but in california they didnt even legalize the other marriage so i dont htink they would let me but i really do love cheese and as long as i love it does it matter?