I never really feel "here"?

I cant relate to the part about smoking marijuana, never did it, or other drugs. but I can relate to a little of the rest. the part of not feeling 'being there' sounds a little like A.D.D.- cant stay focused, but for me it does not matter if it's day or night. also sounds like you have a mild case of depression. you have enough going on in your life, that I feel would warrant getting the help of a counselor. including myself, the average person here on yahoo, will not be able to ascertain what is the root cause of your problems, and offering real solutions, besides the obvious basic ( but well meaning ) advise that most people have, concerning depression, without having been trained in psychology, and has knowledge of the affects of marijuana usage. you failed to mention that if any of this was present before you started smoking? if seeing a counselor/therapist is completely not viable for you, at least sit down and have a heart to heart talk with a parent or other knowledgeable adult. good luck, I know all too well about being depressed.